Getting Started

I’m not sure where to start. I’ve just scanned the internet to see if there are blogs out there written by Army wives and I see that indeed there are. I don’t know how or even if mine will be different. While each experience is inherently unique, it is something that only we can truly share and understand – we; the spouses, the children, significant others, mothers and fathers who wait. I started to write “left behind” because that is how it feels, but I know that isn’t fair. I can hear my husband in the living room packing his bags. I’m having sort of a mini-internal meltdown and somehow feel dead all at the same time. I think that with every deployment I lose a little more of myself. Sometimes I wonder how much I have left. This is not our first rodeo and I feel like it should be getting easier, but it doesn’t. I think maybe it gets even harder. Part of me feels selfish for writing this expecting anyone else to read it or even to care what goes on in our little world. Another part of me feels selfish for not having done it sooner, for not letting the rest of the world know what really goes on inside the life of a military family. Either way, I think I’m going to do this. I think I’m going to measure a year in all the sad, bizarre and hopefully joyful ways that I can think to do it. Soon we begin 365 all over again.